So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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