At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
farters have to be the big spoon...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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