he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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