when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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