careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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