I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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