he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
