well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
