I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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