You work out of a Hotel?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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