Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Shame is for Republicans.
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