Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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