I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
