it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
