Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
