I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
