how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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