R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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