you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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