YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
