I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
