Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
