and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize