I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
