i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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