can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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