normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize