I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Randomize
