I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
