Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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