the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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