Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
