thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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