so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
