There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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