if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
