I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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