How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
