Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
