My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
