THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
