I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
