fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
