I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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