their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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