I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
