I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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