Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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