She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
soo... how was my night?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
