At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize