Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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