Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I checked into jail on foursquare
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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