Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
