just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
