areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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