So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
