But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i think i have two assholes
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
