Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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