I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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