You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
